I cant Bcoz, im trUe...

Days are moving hard
& I believe,
My day is not far behind..

Only,i am Far..
But
Not, by heart



I am a Dreamer,
And I Never let my Dreams down

I am right,
bcoz
My Heart says sooo, I am Right



I Breathe, I Dream & I Live,
It Pains, It Hurts and It Kills,
Everything I bear,
Bcoz,
My Heart says,
I am Right, waiting for my Day!




I don’t have to prove anyone,
As MY heart says,
Im Right, waiting for my DAY!

Its Easter....

I dunno that this day has loads of surprises for me. I woke up at 6 with a short prayer I went and opened my window curtains. Iam surprised. With my eyes wide opened I just forgot myself for about a hour. Iam soo happy and just want to go outside and play.

Its really a beautiful sight to see the white snow falling on the ground. All the places filled with snow. I ran through the steps and took the snow in my hand and started playing with them.

After 10 to 15 minutes I realised I didn’t wear my winter jacket and im feeling soo chill. I ran back weared my jacket and came back and started playing with snow. No one to partner me but I played on my own. I kissed the snow for the first time and started building dolls. I made some of my favourite cartoons specially Tom & Jerry. But the doll of my history teacher was my favourite..eeeee

I ringed my home and said tat im playing with snow. I set my camera and started dancing in snow. Good Clips.. Aren’t they???

Days are painy yet the beautiful snowfall made me to have a party on my own. I do enjoyed everysingle moment with the snow. Still now I was enjoying the painy days waiting for my day but this beautiful snowfall brought joy to my heart.

When the sun came out and the snow started melting, I started feeling sad as if my close friend was leaving me. For a moment I was angry with Sun. I sat down and waited till the evening… will my friend will come again to bring joy to my heart..??? As the light dimmed, I started losing hopes and started filling my diary “After 95 years cambridge had snowfall in spring and im lucky to be here……”

It’s a real Easter for me.

thana naaaa na naa na.....

Let me try to put something in my blog before I land in Cambridge(UK). Things got busy and I lost interest in this materialistic world. Anyhow I made my life interesting with things what I learned from my parents. Whatever I do, I used to give my best shot. If it is happy, I would be the happiest person in this world or if it is pain, I would enjoy my pain whole heartedly.

I always try to explore things within my limits. Hmmm limits??? Let me say something about it.

From my childhood I used to think a lot about how should I be, in my life. My parents made it very simple to me. All they said me is, Listen your heart and do what u feel is good.

I had my own set of principles towards my life. ohhh… I don’t want to bore u guys with them.. Let me try to make this blog some what interesting…

Let me say how I spend my day…

The day starts with meditation along with a hiiiiiii to early sunrise. A silent voice from my heart says, I can do it and I will. I just think of my dreams for a moment with a wide smile. That’s how my day starts.

Hmm…Childish Professional????
Good Nickname… isn’t it???
People call me so, but to be honest I love to be a child all throughout my life. I used to forget things easily. Lots of funny things happened with my very good, poor memory….. hahaha

Me & My sister used to have a same color bag. Once in a hurry, I took her bag to college. It was a real funny incident. I traveled with my sister’s bag. Ayyo, thank God!... there was no ticket checking on that day(Because My bus-pass was in my bag and I don’t know its her bag while traveling)…. Hmmm when I say about checking inspector I remember another funny incident.

From my college to avadi-bus depot I have to take ticket. The bus will be soo rush.As soon i get the ticket, i will put them in my bag because I feel that I may miss the ticket in that rush & I never used to dispose those tickets later.

Days moved and tickets started filling my bag and one fine day, checking inspector came. When I opened my bag for tickets, ayyo I had some handful of tickets.. I don’t know which one is the correct ticket and by the time trying to spot the correct one, the checking inspector came to me.

I don’t know what to do. I gave him the entire bunch of tickets. Hahaha, his face went really small and he was trying to figure out the correct one. It was really funny. Once he left the bus, we really laughed like anything and from that day, whenever I see checking inspector I used to laugh within myself…

Ohh.. I went back to old days aa.. ok let me come back to my present.


The house owner is a milkman. He has cows and goats. Early morning after the meditation I used to go down and play with those goats. In mean time those goats became my friends. Everyday before I leave out of my room and enter my room I will talk with those goats.

I don’t know why… I always love villages. Although I lived in a City from my birth, for some reason I never liked cities. I love to walk on those greenish & pleasant farms. I love the smell of the village sand that comes during rain, I love the village people (they are very kind hearted) and many more… I loved to live in village rather than in this materialistic City.

From my childhood, My love and passion was towards INDIAN AIRFORCE but due to some reasons I stepped into this software field. I love what iam & i love what i do and this is what which keeps me charged with passion in this Software field.

Oops..! im again taking u back towards my life…. so I feel I should stop here…. Whatever it is I loved every single moment of my life. I enjoyed both happiness and pain with my whole heart, as I strongly believe everything happens for a reason….

!@#$%^&*

Loneliness one of the hardest things in life to pass by. It tests both our character and mental toughness. All these years grown under the shadows of parents love & care, I found it difficult to adjust to this new world.

I do miss my friends and family. I do miss my beloved sister and our daily fights. It brings smile when I used to think of those reasons we used to fight. Sometimes I feel we have to patent those reasons.

No word for sports in this Professional life. It’s a challenge to work here and battling every day having fun with my team-mates learning new things.

I don’t watch movies and I never went for theatres and so I don’t want to get into a habit of learning those. Apart from Volunteering activities, I found difficult to battle against this loneliness specially during my early part of my professional life.

I don’t like reading novels nor watching Television (cartoons, sports & news are exceptions). The battle was hard specially on those weekends.

I started to explore ways to battle against this gentlemen Loneliness & ended up with the city map spotting some of the cultural and religious places.

I loved the early morning walk on the necklace road along with meditation before the sunrise. Then a walk to Sri Ramakrishna Math, One of the best places I loved to visit in Hyderabad. With instrumental musics around I loved reading those spiritual books.

Photography has become my latest friend joining hands to battle against this Gentleman Loneliness. click here for some latest collection of my album

Also had a try with cooking. But later dropped down the option as i had some worst experience with noodles ended up with soup & sambar ended up with salty rasam. Really had a hard time tasting my own cook :(((

But at the end, i really enjoyed all those movements i passed in this battle. I Love what i do and I Love what i am.

I badly do miss my soccer. Weather i am happy or sad, I always expressed my feelings playing soccer. But later, missing my soccer friend, I fell in love with this blog. Love makes people blind and yes it happened with me. My love with this blog made me forget its limitations. I do got attached to it very close. I don’t want to repeat it again as I make an end to my blog with this “full stop”.

My Re-Union – An Unknown Beautiful friend of mine

People who read my last years blog about Reunion would remember my friends and the fun we had. This time I will say about my another friend I had in my school days. Many don’t know her. Only, a few of mine who is closer to me knows about her.

Going years back, the Happiest part of my life where I never used to bother of anything and lived life enjoying every single moment with my friends and family.

The day will start with a smile seeing my mothers face and a small fight with my sister. Each day, we used to invent new new reasons to fight and this never stops till we go to bed and sometimes in the dreams tooo...


Looking back into my diary,
It was on 6th May 1995, i stepped into my school for the first time in my life.Its a Boys School. That’s the first time I saw that beautiful place filled with flowers, listening the song of the kukoo, the Soccer field(I dunno at that time that,it will become my best friend) and all. I lost my heart on my first sight and fighted with my dad to join that school as he had some other option in his mind.

I got some wonderfull friends before I joined school who incidently was my classmates and also my best friends in my life. Incidently one of his name is VINOD and the other one is Satyan. We were friends from the Training classes for the entrance exam we had in our school.

I loved playing soccer in that ground. “Soccer field”, it was my best friend ever who gave me many wonderfull moments in my life to cheer about. Who gave me many good friends in my life.

In the meanwhile during the day, when I am in school I got her friendship.

She used to wait for me in the hot sun and in the rain. She used to wait for me all throughout the day. I see her daily and i never missed her during my Lunch. I used to go to her and talk with her. Along with my Friends, we used to sit and lye on her laps and start sharing what all happened on the day. Sometimes we used to sleep sharing things with her.

She used to be there whenever i needed and listened me and made me feel easier

During those examination days, we used to go and study with her. I used to pray with her before I leave for exams. And once the exam got over we used to share our question paper with her. All went good till the year April 2000. Later due to circumstances I had to miss her and my friends, as I moved to other school. But whenever I get time, I used to go and see her. I used to lye and sleep on her laps. She offered us peace…

This year I missed my friend. But she is always waiting for us at the same place. Ohh….! Sorry, forgot to introduce my friend na….. Wondering how a girl can be there in a boys school na???
She used to Stand at the back of the Second Main Soccer Goal Post near the back gate of our school decorated with those yellow colour flowers. Yes, she's a tree... This is the place we would gather to meet our friends during every re-union.

Everytime when the Reunion day comes, I used to sit back and think of those wonderful days I had in my school. I used to think of those priceless gems I earned in my life called “FRIENDS”

This year the Re-Union day was on 15th December 07. Every year we are looking for this day. No matter where we are...On Re-Union day, we will assemble together to meet our friends & our Teachers. That’s the promise we hold.

Due to some reasons, I couldn’t make up this year. But all throughout that day, my thoughts were all around my school and my friends. That’s the kind of impact/feeling my school has made it in us.

check our school link http://www.mcchss.org

The Real Smile

Things go wrong, getting hurted made me feel worse, but the only thing, which made me smile, even on those worse hurty days of my life, is my Parents Happiness.

It was the worst part of my life, which I never wish to turn back. Those 4 months is like a HELL. I never suffered that much in my life. Cant remember a day without painful-tears. Having a Fake smile to the outer world and crying daily in my heart and back, whenever I entered my room(thanks a lot for my friends, who helped me pass those painful days). Even on those painful days, the only thing which made me smile, is my parents smile.

By fulfilling there small small dreams and wishes, made me see there hidden childishness. No matter what is there age but for a moment they tend to become a child with those hidden emotions.

I never seen my father smiling so happily in my life. But when I made him a Surprise gift of a Brand new bike in my first month salary, the smile and joy I saw in his face made me feel, "I can live without anyone, if I can see my parents smiling like this all throughout my life.” I can do anything for them for the things they sacrificed for my happiness. Nothing gives you a greater joy than your parents smile especially if you were the reason behind it.

Picking my family to the restaurant, Kids having fun around while my sister blinking at the menu card for the order, passing jokes and having fun… all are wonderful memories. I was in hell with those personal battles going on in my heart, but there happiness made me feel the heaven. It made me happy even on those worse days.

I still cant find a day without painful tears in those 4months, but the only day which made me smile is when I was with my parents making them smile.

Believe me friends, Nothing will make you feel great than your parents smile. Try fulfilling there desires and wishes, you will feel the real lifetime joy and satisfaction in your heart. They are the only person who doesn’t know to hurt you.

They enjoyed my success more than me and at the same time they got hurted more than me, for me. No matter its Soccer or Academics, they are the one who celebrated my performance/achievements. And at the same time, she is hurted more for punishing me at odd times.

The only time they punished me in my life that to in a real hard way keeping silence, but doing so they also get hurted…
Miss u ma, Miss u dad, miss u mythili n all….

Fake Smile & Hidden Tears...

When u are not around,
I just cry…I have wondered why?
Then I realized, my tears just comes out searching for you;

You are in my eyes,
I know you are scared of darkness,
That’s why I keep my eyes open.

When am angry, you know what to do
You just smile, and
My anger loses the battle against it;

I want to spend a whole day with you,
I wish my life is just one day long;

If we can talk only during nights,
I wont bother my life being dark.

How can I say????
You are angel without halo and wings or
An angel is you with a Halo and wings
I guess the second is better.

No matter what you do,
You Always Conquer my heart.
Miss you!

One evening, walking in the RAIN.....

Sitting in the second floor with music of those keyboards all throughout day caused due to busy programming, I Slightly turned my chair, watching outside through the glass wall. Hmm.. Its so dark & its raining heavily. The water is flooding through the roads and people were walking, slightly lifting there pants.

Its almost 6.30pm, I have been about 10 hours in office and its time I have to give me some break for the day.

By the time I left my office, its drizzling outside. I slowly walked down the road enjoying the slight breeze and the chillness in air. More than that its drizzling & I loved to walk around the atmosphere.(I love to walk in rain because no body knows I am crying –by Charlie chaplin… these words were 100 percent true for me these days)

The bus stop is so busy with peoples rushing to catch buses which is already full. I decided to walk a kilometer searching for a hostel.

On the way, I found kids playing in rain. I cant stop myself thinking my childhood past. Making leave to school on those rainy days, and playing in rain water with my brothers and sister. It’s a wonderful thing to come by in everybody’s life.

“Cyclone and Thunderstorm today- Educational institutions declared holiday” when i see those head lines in papers and news channels, i will be soo happy. The interesting thing is that it never rains on that day and that particular day would be a sunny one.. whatever it is, i got a day leave… there is no homework nor assignments and I would be happy to spend my day with my friends playing cricket or fighting with my sister. I will b happy not seeing my History Teacher’s face(he really bore’s me with those numbers).

Playing with clays making dolls, making paper boats and leaving it in the rain water along with your sister/brother and at one point of time, splashing the rain water, stamping the paper boat and immersing it which leads to a fight… then amma comes into the rescue… Those are always priceless days specially for people like me staying away from the family…

Relations and Sentiments always gives u responsibilities and its my misfortune that whatever(whomever) I loved, used to be away from me(hurting/killing).Whatever it is, I learned to be positive… I always live by my principles and promises.

Her thoughts, as beautiful as ever.....

Along the sea shores,
holding her hand,
waves kissing our feet,
we r in love...we r in love...

the reddish sun and the fading light,
with those naughty smiles and gentle shyness,
iam in heaven, iam in heaven...

vinoth!!!vinoth!!!
get down!,stopping came...

oh god!!!,
iam in dream with tears filled in my hrt...

even those hour & half journey,
she was my thoughts....

closer i loved,stronger she hurts...